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Dwayne Wade Is Too Old To Make An Impact

How will he help push them past the Golden State Warriors in what will inevitably be a finals rematch for the fourth year in a row? Newsflash: He won’t.



Dust off your banana boats Cleveland because another member of the infamous floating crew is coming to your city. Dwayne Wade has agreed to join the Cleveland Cavaliers and Lebron James could not be happier. Finally, he has his favorite member of Miami’s classic big 3 back by his side as Cleveland undoubtedly makes a run at another championship. But what will Dwayne Wade bring to this already stacked team? How will he help push them past the Golden State Warriors in what will inevitably be a finals rematch for the fourth year in a row? Newsflash: He won’t.


Dwayne Wade has done a lot of great things in his past besides marrying the Gabrielle Union. He won a championship without Lebron, he won two with Lebron and he even had time for a few sex parties in between. The former Heat star has shown moments of greatness every single season except for the last one in Chicago. He really decided to take it easy on himself and played I think four games all season. I don’t even think Dwayne Wade can run anymore. After 45 minutes of warming up, he might be able to put together a light jog from one end of the floor to the other.


What the Cavs should do, if they’re smart, is cryogenically freeze Dwayne WAde until the NBA Finals. That way he will have the best chance to remain healthy and keep his already completely destroyed body in the ragtag shape that it is right now that can kind of play basketball. Don’t get me wrong, I love Dwayne Wade. He has been one of the most exciting basketball players of his generation and even two seasons ago he was absolutely electric in the playoff series versus the Charlotte Hornets. He with his hands on his knees staring at the guy in the dumb purple bandana was one of my favorite sports moments I can remember in recent history.


But if you’re a fan of the Cavs then prepare for a lot of Dwayne Wade with his hands on his knees just staring. This guy does not have the stamina any longer to make it up and down the court for 82 games especially with Adam Silver trying to crack down on teams resting healthy players. If Dwayne Wade can’t rest about 83 games this season then he won’t be able to make it. Maybe this is Lebron just giving his friend a nice contract and he’s happy because he finally has someone to drink wine with or maybe he’s just getting sick of JR Smith. Either way, I don’t expect Dwayne Wade to have a major impact for the Cleveland Cavaliers.

I would love to see Dwayne Wade in the NBA Finals again because he has always been a clutch player but I don’t want to see him play like Deron Williams did last year in the playoffs because that was just sad. Lebron is keen on bringing in the oldest men around the league so watch out for the Cavs signing Uncle Drew and Grandmama.


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What Is Happening With The New Nike Jerseys In The NBA?

Maybe Nike ran out of money after paying nearly $1 billion for the right to make all NBA teams’ jerseys, because something is seriously wrong.



Maybe Nike ran out of money after paying nearly $1 billion for the right to make all NBA teams’ jerseys, because something is seriously wrong. Nike unveiled their “groundbreaking advanced uniforms,” this offseason and so far they have not lived up to the hype. After just a few weeks into the new season, an outbreak of ripped and torn jerseys have overtaken the league.

If you aren’t aware, numerous players have had to change jerseys mid-game because these new uniforms made by Nike are just being torn to shreds… so how is this “advanced technology?”

On opening night, with the new jerseys on full display in a closely contested game between the Cavaliers and the Celtics, LeBron James’ jersey ripped right down the middle of his back. Seriously Nike? Did you not do any testing on this “new technology?”

Previously, Adidas had the contract for official NBA team jerseys and there was never anything like this. Sure there may have been a few wardrobe malfunctions, but nothing like this rash of total wardrobe destruction.

Nike just signed an eight-year $1 billion contract so don’t expect NBA teams to be wearing Adidas jerseys anytime soon. Now it is up to Nike to fix these horrible uniforms and so far they haven’t sent any new uniforms to teams.

Nike released a statement per Darren Rovell of ESPN: “We are very concerned to see any game day tear and are working to implement a solution that involves standardizing the embellishment process and enhancing the seam strength of game day jerseys. The quality and performance of our products are of utmost importance and we are working with the NBA and teams to avoid this happening in the future.”

Sounds like damage control more than anything else. My question is, are the player’s jerseys the only ones affected? Are kids buying $150 jerseys only to have them fall apart?

So far, five NBA players have had their jerseys rip in a game and some have almost completely been torn to shreds. How is this acceptable? How is Nike going to rectify this situation, not just for the NBA teams, but for all the fans who have already purchased these disastrous jerseys?


Step it up Nike, or maybe make some quality products. Honestly, I don’t expect much from this soulless corporation, except more of the same.

Let’s just hope the player’s shorts are made of different material, or we could have some serious wardrobe malfunctions…


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Why Giannis Antetokounmpo Won’t Win MVP

Everyone is saying that Giannis is the favorite to win the MVP award but he’s not going to win the MVP and I’ll tell you why.



Giannis Antetokounmpo is one of the most exciting players in all of the NBA. The way he dunks with crazy authority then scowls on the way back down the floor to play defense is something that gets everyone hyped up. It’s impossible to not be swept up by his enthusiasm and if you’re trying to not fall in love with this basketball genius then good luck. He is making the young and fun Milwaukee Bucks amazing to watch so far and they have won a bunch of games, some that maybe they even weren’t supposed to. Giannis is the talk of the entire NBA and everyone is saying that he is the favorite to win the MVP award but he’s not going to win the MVP and I’ll tell you why.


The Milwaukee Bucks are a good team and they’re a lot of fun. They are also destined to make the NBA Finals because the Eastern Conference is incredibly weak. Sure the Bucks are performing and don’t look to be slowing down in any sense of the word and that is all mostly because of Giannis and his awesome play. However, if you think a team in the Eastern Conference is going to have the MVP you are out of your mind.


The Western Conference is loaded, the competition over there is incredibly tough and the talent is unparalleled. Sure Giannis is good, but Russell Westbrook averaged a triple-double last season. He will undoubtedly have another amazing season, especially now that he has the help of Melo and Paul George. James Harden was the runner-up for the MVP last season and he looks just as good or even better than he did last year. Sure, James Harden might not be as exciting as Giannis Antetokounmpo, but he is an unstoppable basketball force the likes of which we have never seen before. The West also has a little team called the Golden State Warriors that already has two MVPs on the roster in Kevin Durant and Steph Curry. To think that they’re not favorites to add another MVP to their selection this season is just crazy.



Even in the East, there are incredible talents that will lead their teams to better records than Giannis. First off, obviously Lebron James is always a front-runner and should realistically win the MVP each and every year he plays in the league. We also have Kyrie playing without Gordon Hayward and leading the Celtics all by himself. Check out some of his highlights this season, he looks incredible. John Wall is always a force to be reckoned with too. Oh also, the Unicorn, Porzingis looks good so far as well.


The league is too stacked with great players and a lot of those great players will play for better teams and have bigger impacts than Giannis Antetokounmpo. I know it’s trendy to say that he will win the MVP and I would be super excited if somehow he managed to keep the momentum he’s already garnered this season to win the coveted award. If it were up to me, Giannis would lead the Bucks to a title this year and it would be amazing. However, I just don’t think that is going to happen.


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Kyrie Just Keeps Digging Himself a Deeper Hole into His Flat Earth

Kyrie has now left the realm of reality and the idea that he was doing this as a publicity stunt is finally out of the window. 



Kyrie Irving, the outspoken Boston Celtic guard, just keeps jamming his feet directly into his own mouth. This week while a guest on UConn women’s basketball coach Geno Auriemma’s radio show, Irving again reiterated his ridiculous stance on Earth being flat. He went further than just stating that the Earth is flat, he insisted that there is “no real picture of Earth, not one real picture of Earth.”


Kyrie has now left the realm of reality and the idea that he was doing this as a publicity stunt is finally out of the window. He actually believes that the Earth is flat, there are no real pictures of Earth from space, I’m assuming and he doesn’t believe science.

One must start to wonder where he is getting these ridiculous ideas and who is filling him with such false narratives? Kyrie has been linked to celebrity pastor Carl Lentz of the Hillside Church and that organization has been under fire lately for controversial moves of its constituents.



Has Kyrie been brainwashed by the same church that apparently has Justin Bieber acting odd and out of character? The church caters to a celebrity clientele but so far Irving is the only one who is spouting falsities about a flat Earth. There have been rumors that pastor Lentz and the Hillside Church are behind Irving’s startling request to be traded.

The plot only gets deeper as we dive into this church and their strange tactics, but that is for another article and another time.


This isn’t the first time Irving has spouted on about a flat Earth conspiracy, on the podcast “Road Trippin’” Irving went on to say, “The Earth is flat… I’m telling you, it’s right in front of our faces. They lie to us.”

When Kyrie was on “Holding Court” with Coach Geno Auriemma, he said, “When I started actually doing research on my own and figuring out that there is no real picture of Earth, not one real picture of Earth—and we haven’t been back to the moon since 1961 or 1969—it becomes like conspiracy, too.”

Ok Kyrie, the entire planet has been lying to us to keep the flat Earth people at bay.. ok.


I’ll let Kyrie continue to dig himself a bigger and bigger hole that one day he will have to get out of. Maybe he is just doing this to get a free trip to space on Elon Musk’s Space X rocket.

But until then, Kyrie, the Earth is round… that is all.


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